Uncharted territory

Here we are, Spring.

I've finished a few projects, wrapping up a short story today and then back to my long neglected ZCFH story. I'm trying to keep my projects to a minimum for the time being as spreading myself too thin achieves nothing and my social life has sort of exploded recently. I have cut down on some outings, now replacing clubbing and excessive drinking with constructive explorations within different circles: art gatherings, gallery shows, more concerts (but new musical genres), a weekly gaming night with no girls allowed (lol) and simple dinner parties.  Montreal is truly perfect for this.

On a deeper personal level, I've slowly adjusted to celibacy. I still miss caring for someone and having someone care for me, but a tighter circle of friends does helps make up for some of it, even though it could never replace having someone more intimate. I have met a few people who do seek intimacy, but either they only want to provide it occasionaly and/or aren't interested in exclusivity. And those who have displayed the level of interest that I seek simply haven't gained the same interest from me.  I'm proud to see I haven't simply fallen for everyone who has shown interest in me, this means I'm not ready for another relationship yet. So it's all about meeting people, trying new things and confirming what I truly want. This instinct, this need for love is strongly ingrained in me, but I am thankful for the opportunities and people I got to meet because of my newfound independence. I am forging a new persona which will only be that much stronger and grounded when I do fall I love again. I still go through ups and downs but I'm not alone this time, and I thank you all for being there :)